How I got my ass kicked by Ash Ambirge aka The Middle Finger Project

Whether you’re a mom trying to land a part-time job or full-time job.
Whether you’re an Etsy shop owner or a mom/dad owned local business.
Maybe you’re totally based on the digital era, and everything you sell is purely digital.

Or maybe you just a stay-at-home mom who is thinking about starting something that brings you extra pocket money, or helps you to become self-sufficient or to travel the world.

The truth is you need to land a new client. Client after client, project after project. No matter what you do, you want people to work with you. You want them to hire YOU!

So you have a website, Facebook page, Instagram. You do the twitter thing, and you Snapchat. If all that works for you, that’s awesome! In my case, I’ve started looking around for people I’d like to work with. I reach out, and I try to connect.

The other day, I decided to reach out to Ash Ambirge aka The Middle Finger Project. Apparently, I didn’t read her “This bastard was getting paid $10,000 dollars a month.” before I did it. Apparently, I just lost my femur when it came to writing that message. The whole realization that I am writing to Ash Ambirge sucked the air out of my lungs, and I went limp.

And I went all emotional, instead of professional.

I’ve been a big fan of hers for quite a long time. At one point I joined her group of Unf*ckwithable Girlfriends. Group based on monthly subscription. I stayed there for 2 months and then unsubscribed. No hurt feelings. I just felt like it wasn’t the perfect match for me. I wasn’t quite sure about the group. And when you have to pay $25 per month for something you are not quite sure about, well, I think that would be stupid. The real stupid vs. the stupid I’m going to mention later (so, read on).

I love her emails, and I open ALMOST every single one I get from her. They make me think, and re-think the nuances of running a business, finding your own voice in the Farmer’s Markets of photography market.

Anyway, the other day I sent her a box with a gift inside and a short message. I wanted her to hire me as a freelancer, not as an employee.

Ash Ambirge aka The Middle Finger Project

I decided to wait for any smoke signals back from her for a week from the date she receives the whole thing. After that, I was planning to shake the sand off my pants and pretend like I didn’t send it at all. Life goes on.

Honestly, I was hoping for a phone call. But as one Polish proverb says: „hope is the mother of stupid”.

Luckily, I’m not afraid to admit that I am stupid on occasions. Aren’t we all?

I didn’t even have to wait the whole week to get my response. It wasn’t the ideal one. Not the ideal one I was hoping for

but as one of my favorite songs says it:

“You can’t always get what you want,
But if you try sometime,
You’ll find you get what you need!”

The answer came to me via email. Not even personalized email, but general and short newsletter form. Short, at on point business advice she’s been doing for some time now. The subject of the email: “Hire Me” versus “Listen to Me”. I didn’t open it right away. I knew this is the phone call I was waiting for, and I already knew that the actual phone call is not going to happen.

After I read it, I got so mad.

I thought, “you… &*&^%  $*^#*” (believe me I swear like a sailor, so use your imagination here).

???? I was ready to hit the unsubscribe button and throw my computer at the wall, and get out there and scream from the bottom of my lungs.

I didn’t get what I wanted. I got way more than that. I got what I needed! A lesson. A private lesson from Ash Ambirge aka The Middle Finger Project that cost me only $16.50.

And the truth is, her advice was on point. It was raw and it hurt. But this is business, people. And it was my decision to take it personally or learn something from it. She didn’t write me a personal note, saying she’s not interested. She didn’t ignore me, but she could. She decided to make it a lesson. Lesson to all who are willing to listen.

My advice is: don’t write a pitch if you’re feeling down, broken, vulnerable. Keep your emotion to yourself. You’re not trying to get a new friend, you’re trying to build your business!

And I really hope, Ash enjoyed the champagne filled gummies. 

As of today, I might not have the balls big enough to play in her team. I give too many f***s to things that shouldn’t matter in my business and in my private life. I am a work in progress. My business is, too. I’m glad to be able to say, I’m evolving and learning, and I’m not afraid to fail.

Ash’s business is all based on a bitchy attitude.  The “lady with big balls”. That’s cool. There are many women out there wanting to grow some balls, and she’s right for them. I like her sarcasm and her raw honesty. However, I don’t aim to change my female parts for anything else, and I feel like I don’t have to do that in order to be successful. I do believe I can connect with people (business or not) on more emotional level. And if she’s not one of them, then no-biggie. This whole experience made me feel like there are things shifting in my head right now. I see what I didn’t see before. I needed her to respond the way she did to grow. It would be totally different if she said: “oh, yes, Dear! I hear you! come work with me!” . It also shows that people we glorify knowing them via Internet are only human, and they are not perfect.

And today I want to take the time and say THANK YOU, to all who in any way became a part of this journey of mine.


6 Responses

  1. Interesting read. I love the Polish proverb thrown in there! I had never heard of Ash or her program, but this prompted me to go over and have a look. It’s nice to get a perspective from someone who experienced it and left – thanks for the honesty.

  2. Ewa,

    I am so sorry to have hurt your feelings! I just stumbled across your article, and was so sad to read it—I just recently got your champagne gummies, because you sent them to my box in the United States! As you probably know, I live in Costa Rica, and the address in the USA goes to a box via Earth Class Mail. I only ship it to Central America every once in a great while.

    That said, I had done a huge Instagram story of the unveiling of your gorgeous champagne gummies, now that I recently got them, and thanked you via video, and then told the girls to follow up—but I can see now, that was shortsighted. I should have reached out personally.

    I’m terribly sorry that you thought that any of those posts were about you. My goodness, I would never.

    In any regard, thank you, so very much, for being so thoughtful. It brought a smile to my face!


    1. Hey Ash!

      You know how it is, we all get a little hurt when we feel rejected, and take things personally.
      I think, that was the best coaching session ever, actually! Haha.
      Now I approach my potential clients and people I reach out to in a totally different way.
      Thanks for taking your time and responding!
      Hugs, E

  3. Ewa! How come I feel like I have virtually met you online?
    I just flicked an email through to Ash…so who knows what the response will be.
    This did resonate. I’m all about being brave and helping other women to do so. I even have some things in common with her, but I also have a huge difference. I’m a mum.
    Like you, just tweaking little things right now – evolving the biz and me….
    Great article!

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